Thrifty Thursday: Stolen motorcycle jacket

So, I bought a leather jacket a couple of weeks ago on my day off up in Andersonville...

Alarmingly broken-in and well-loved, this motorcycle jacket ended up in my hands right once I walked in. I mean, if this jacket could talk, I can imagine raucous stories of women holding on to it for dear life as the owner careened around the curves of mountain roads somewhere.

Alongside my brown leather "Member's Only" jacket and a padded grey leather one, black completes the series. So I strolled up to my favorite nook in Andersonville...

Rad Vintage is the place to go, people. It's stocked full of reasonably priced and well-curated options. You'll spend a handful of minutes sifting through their selection from the bossman, RJ. He's got a great eye and know's what he's doing. Check them out on the interwebz or head up their to the store one of these days.

----

While doing some vintage shopping on the Sabbath in Wicker Park, I bumped into the lovely Ms. Trés Awesome. She kindly asked to take my photograph for her street style website and I was flattered. She kindly sent over some extra photos to make this post happen. Tada. You're the boss, Emma.

Unfortunately, the jacket has already been snatched by Katie. I'll get it back tomorrow, hopefully...if she doesn't pass it off to Shani.

Black leather motorcycle jacket from Rad Vintage ($60); Fair Isle reindeer sweater courtesy of Topman; blue chambray button down by Gant Rugger; slim white denim from spring 2011 by A.P.C.; classic white sneakers courtesy of Vans; purple laces from the 'Crewcuts' section of J.Crew; black frame eyeglasses by Gant Rugger; slouchy dirty grey beanie from my floor; vintage 1950s monogram shopper by Louis Vuitton from eDrop-Off.

Photos courtesy of Trés Awesome.

midweSTYLE: Easy Rider

Merry Christmas, y'all.

I'm sure you're all coming down from your food comas and/or worn out from exploring the full utilities of your copious amounts of swag, so I'll keep it short.

We got back to the farm from our yearly Christmas visit to my dad's childhood Episcopal church and decided to go for a Sunday afternoon ride. We were losing light, so rather than waste time changing out of church clothes, I threw on some jeans and called it good.

Meet Fuerte, our Peruvian Paso Fino gelding.

On Seth: Chambray work shirt (Michigan Avenue Bloomingdales, sale $50 reg. $115) by Gant Rugger; neck tie passed down from grandfather; Mad Men cardigan courtesy of Banana Republic; "Walker" raw denim courtesy of JBrand; brown herringbone socks courtesy of Falke; "Beeswax" desert boots (Nordstrom Rack, sale $50 reg. $110); "Weekender" watch (Amazon.com, $30) by Timex; fish-hook tie clip ($20) by Buckshot Sonny's; deadstock copper latch bracelet with holes (gift from Jeff—what a friend).

Photos by Israel Putnam.

But first: iPhone cases that don't suck

So, everyone has an iPhone, right?
Well, you need to protect it, so you might as well dress it with style.

I'm a guy who likes to have unnecessary multiples of practical things. You know, like multiple iPhone cases. One is just fine, but it's fun to have another! This obsession or desire could also be the same condition that most women face regarding handbags, eye makeup, high heels and anything else that women buy...

(See also, my collection of totes of varying handle lengths, multi-colored watch straps, various shoe lace colors, different colors of Field Notes, the list goes on...) #hoarders.

Why own one, when you can own two? GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL. Here are our picks for the best cases of the season.

First batch: Wallet + iPhone case.

Pros: Everything all together, convenient, less to carry. You can watch it age and brag about how much it's changed since you bought it. Cool, cool.

Cons: You get mugged or you lose it, you're done-zo.

Clockwise: Natural leather iPhone wallet by Kenton Sorenson; "Madison" iPhone wallet in cognac with green stripes by Landmarks & Lions; "Little Black Book" iPhone case by Pad & Quill; "Book Book" for iPhone by Twelve South.

Second batch: Obviously, the fun ones.
Pros: Hello, everyone needs a Marauder's Map.
Cons: Nothing. You win—you just win.

From top left: Harry Potter "Marauder's Map" iPhone case by Warner Bros; "Canal Street" iPhone case by Jack Spade; "Ping Pong" textured iPhone case by inCase (on Gilt!); rubber camouflage iPhone case from J.Crew; "Pantone" iPhone case by Pantone; silicone cassette tape from Amazon; basket weave iPhone case by Chilewich; cork iPhone case by Case Mate; old-school calculator iphone case from Perpetual Kid.

midweSTYLE: Renegade

Remember when you that uncool guy in your high school was, well, uncool until he turned 16 and bought an Acura and pimped it out with lights and shit and then became "cool"?

Well, that's not how I felt nor was I ever that guy. But I do want to just pimp out this jacket with hoods and zip-in vests. Ok, I've already said pimp twice in this paragraph. Let's pretend like I didn't and just watch another episode of "Pimp My Ride."

Breaking in the Baldwins.

Also, the best part about the hood is the copper wire that is embedded around the edge of the hood, so you can pry that puppy around your sweet little face and it won't fly back when the wind/haters are in your face.

Christmas came early with J.Crew's Black Friday sale.
As well as this past weekend's Renegade Craft Fair over in Wicker Park.
Loads of goodies to be found and bought.

Above: This summer, it was leather on the wrists. For now, it's metal.

On Jeff: "Bedale" waxed jacket with snap-on hood by Barbour; obnoxious button-down by Gant Rugger; glasses by Gant Rugger; the slim-straight "Henley" selvedge by Baldwin Denim; "8878" moc boot by Red Wing. Accessories: Canvas tote by Filson; Timex "Weekender" with bright yellow nylon strap; brass Giles & Brother railroad spike cuff; sterling silver arrow cuff; deadstock latch bracelet with holes.

Photos by Carolina Mariana Rodriguez.

Friday Wrap-Up: Another Dose

Yeesh. Already so late in the day. But never too late for an end-of-the-week wrap-up you can blow a whole Friday afternoon on. So, first thing's first:

This Sunday. The last Dose Market of the year. We shot this back in July, but this time Seth will be behind one of the booths with Max Wastler (All Plaidout) dishing out the latest offerings from Buckshot Sonny's.

Word is that Max will be debuting the Yosemite Shirt in collaboration with Taylor Stitch. Which looks a little something like this:

So, uh, come by and say hi. From the looks of this lineup, it looks like you can knock, oh I don't know, ALL of your Christmas shopping. See you there, suckers.

Oh, and in case you're looking for some quality reading to kill the rest of your Friday, check it:

• Our guy Brad Bennet (Well Spent) has been killing it. He's guest blogging for Details (1 and 2). And in case you missed it, he published a fantastic gift guide: "40 items, all socially responsible, and all under $40. Don't miss it. (Start here.)
• A couple of thoughtful takes on last week's shopping madness and why—let's be honest— you should avoid Black Friday and, oh, organize a family football game instead. (via Put This On and Real Men Real Style)
• Haven't been, but this looks promising: Caleb Gardner has started a get-together for guys in a bar in Chicago. It ain't about sports, and it ain't about picking up chicks. It's about manning up. Check out the Q&A. (via Man Up Chicago)
• A throwback, but some wise words about spending and thrift—but nary the twain shall meet. (via Effortless Gent)
• And finally, the non-style component: Hampton Stevens' take on the "sitcom that loves Middle America." That's right. Parks and Rec. (via The Atlantic)

Now go knock out the weekend. Aim for the face.

But first, gift guides

Editor's note: Two of our favorite ladies, Katie & Emily, run a thoughtful blog called "But first, coffee." It's devoted to the trials and travails of becoming real people (in their words: "our attempt at a grace entrance into adulthood, though so far it's been more of a stumbling-in-late kind of entrance.") They graciously agreed to pick some gifts they'd give the boys in their lives.

(We assume that means they're getting us all of these things because they love us so much.)

But first, I want y'all to meet my besties with testies breasties:

Katie is the best. We spent our undergrad years living one house apart. On a weeknight, she could fully expect me to show up at her door in my robe with my laptop and a bottle of wine declaring, "I've got a paper to write and need company." Before moving a block away from me in Logan Square, she lived with me and my roommates for a month and fed us like we were kings. She comes from a family of six, you guys. She knows how to take care of boys (i.e. children).

Emily is sort of cool, too. She would willingly pick me up from campus upon the promise of ice cream and pleasure of listening to Taylor Swift in the car with the windows down and heat cranked in the fall. She's a regular at Addison's and can name all of the ingredients in every appetizer from the menu. I also tried to date Emily, once. Maybe twice. She has higher standards. I don't blame her. She's currently keeping all of her friends sane and real while in grad school for counseling.

Together, these girls are real friends, talented friends.

• They can rap all the lyrics to Super Bass by heart.
• They respond to at least 60 percent of my text messages.
• They both know how to make a playlist for anything, such as "November," "Songs for New Cities," "Twinkle Lights in Your Bedroom," "Listen it's going to get really cold," and"front porches + good books."
• They can truck through an entire season of Laguna Beach in one sitting (with a bottle of wine, of course.)

---

So it's safe to say I know them pretty well. And here's something else I know: They totally want these gifts for themselves. If they gave 'em, they'd snag 'em.

Emily has a few words to say about this gent:

This is for the Southern gentleman who has long retired his croakies but will still open my door. He quotes The West Wing in everyday conversation and mix CDs are his love language. He likes tacos, road trips, and sending mail the old fashioned way.

1. Subscription to the Atlantic. A man should always have something interesting to converse about, sure it might take you a month to finish an article, but it's worth it.
2. J.Crew Plaid Wool Scarf. I appreciate a man who can pull off a good scarf. It shouldn't be flashy and you don't need to tie it in any weird way, just wear it. Simple is best. But you know that already.
3. Pendleton throw in Charcoal Stewart. It's getting cold and you need to have a nice clean blanket at your house. If you wanted to use it to entertain a lady for an indoor picnic in deepest darkest January, that would also be acceptable. 
4. Peace Like A River. A coming of age tale with a precocious child narrator set in the barren plains of the North Dakota Badlands. This is one that will stick with you. Plus, you should always to have a book on hand when someone asks for a recommendation.
5. French press by Bodum. The thing about a French press is that it makes you look like you care about food and the finer things in life even if you are still sort of confused about them. 
6. Whiskey stones. How great would it be if I was that kind of girl who could drink whiskey with you? Well, sorry, i'm not. But I will think you are classy if you have these.

If this is you, you can ask @emlew out on a date. Just be tall and have the Constitution app on your iPhone.

---

Katie wanted to describe who this man is that would be getting these gifts (which she would eventually steal).

This is for the "classy lumberjack." He has read of all of Vonnegut's works and probably wanted to get "so it goes" tattooed on his forearm when he was 18. He loves his mom, wool socks and building bonfires. He's understated and shy. Oh, and he's read Watchmen...twice.

1. Flannel button-downn from Gant Rugger. My philosophy when buying clothes for men is: “Can I wear it?” In this case, the answer is most definitely yes, I can. Plus, who doesn’t love a man in flannel?
2. Untreated leather belt by Wood & Faulk. This handmade belt is simple and untreated, ready to be broken in and made your own. Simple. Manly. Perfect.
3. Wool gloves from Buckshot Sonny’s Sporting Goods. Jeff and I were recently having a conversation about how he’s having a hard time finding manly gloves. Well here they are, made in the USA.
4. True/False tickets. Our college town’s very own documentary film festival, True/False is a wonderful weekend in Columbia, Missouri where filmmakers and goers descend on our small town for a weekend of revelry, good wine, and eye-opening documentaries. Check out their site for more info.
5. Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA. This is by far the best Indian Pale Ale I have ever had. Stock up with some to enjoy and some to age.
6. Beard Balm by Men’s Face Stuff. It’s exactly what it sounds like.

If you find that your flannel collection has a few favorites missing, you can probably find @katiestipo wearing them in Bucktown with some new coffee stains.

Thanks, ladies.

midweSTYLE: Dad jeans

Have you ever seen something so ugly that you had to have it?

A good handful of my purchases turn out like this.

If it's ugly, no one will buy it.
If no one will buy, it will get marked down (sooner).

If no one will buy it and it's ugly, there will be a full size run for me to sift through.

Like these dad jeans. A baby blue denim from the archive of the 70's, so faded in color. Surely a dad from the '70s wore this same style and cut. Moderately awkward fit and color, kind of rigid and damn near impossible to match with anything.

Of course, I wanted them. No one else did.

On Jeff: Faded navy military jacket by J.Crew; indigo striped shirt by Club Monaco; grey crewneck sweatshirt by Jack Spade; baby blue denim by Club Monaco; desert boots by Clark's with grey laces from J.crew; speckled boot socks from Target; black framed glasses by Gant Rugger.

Photos: Carolina Mariana Rodriguez

THRIFTY THURSDAY: Louis

When it comes to bags and the necessities that go into your everyday carry, you have to decide what works for your lifestyle.

You've got a big-boy office job: Try a briefcase.

You're one of those guys that carry a messenger bag: Fine.

You're a snot-nosed liberal arts undergrad rat (like I was): Give a backpack a go.

You're not a fan of carrying any of those: Tote along, friends.

Carry what fits with your setting and lifestyle. Bags with top handles are particularly my game. I love a good Filson tote, as well as a Jack Spade dipped-canvas coal tote. Durable, beat up and broken in.

My preference comes from not wanting to carry something across my body. It cramps my style, usually dishevels my blazer, and I don't want scoliosis. Enter the tote.

Photography by Jarred Donalson

Hold up, what is this guy doing with a Louis Vuitton? Hear me out. I got it for a killer deal and it's a freaking Louis?! Do you know how many middle-aged, Gold Coast housewives armed with LVs, hauling strollers and pumped with Botox have stopped me on the streets of Chicago complimenting this bag? Well, three this week and I don't know if that's a really good indicator of "cool" either, but who's keeping track....Not me. Nope.

Plus, tell us you'd turn down this Louis Vuitton luggage from Darjheeling Limited if you had the chance. No? Neither would we.

I thought you guys were about thrift. It's in the title. Thrift can be relative. Sure, we generally mean it in the Salvation Army sense, but occasionally a thousand-dollar piece comes along for a couple hundo, and we call that a deal. I snagged this sucker off of eBay from the wonderful ladies over at eDrop-Off. I was Googling leather handbags one day and stumbled across this one on their eBay page. It was very clear in the description as it being "well-loved and worn" which I read as, "generally beat up and perfect."

With my interest peaked and time ending soon on the auction, I called the store and asked to speak with an associate. They promptly answered my questions, and I went for it.

Bidding ensued, and I had a price point where I was going to stop bidding (It goes without saying, but always have a figure in mind where you're going to stop. It's too easy to get sucked in to simply wanting to win. And boom: Immediate and brutal buyer's remorse.)

I also happened to thrift this oatmeal-flecked wool cardigan by Pendleton a few years ago when I was in undergrad. If you want to burn up, look for anything wool and itchy. You'll be nice and toasty.

On Jeff: Vintage "Monogram" collection tote (eDrop-Off, $222) made in America by Louis Vuitton; oatmeal-flecked wool cardigan (thrifted, $3) by Pendleton; blue cotton oxford (Legends Shopping Center, $60) by rag & bone; selvedge "Henley" denim ($220) by Baldwin Denim.

Look for Less: Cost or Quality

This or that?

Buy designer digs or buy the less expensive option.

You decide. It's your money that you earned, but let's look at the options.

• Designer quality goods generally have, well, a higher quality. Nicer factories, more substantial garment construction techniques, higher quality fabrics and more luxurious blends are used, such as cashmere. Designer brands usually have specialty characteristics, such as seaming and fit, yanno, a little personality. You get the tag with the designer's name on it. "Hey, this was constructed and dreamed up by the imaginary, or imaginaries, under this brand that saw this as something worth constructing and associating their name with as a part of their intimate collection that fits within the brand's lifestyle and identity." I mean, some of my favorite pieces are designer, because they fit so damn well and have a story behind it.
• Off-brand, or "house" brands, generally use fabrics of lesser quality along with less strict quality control procedures. For example, your sweater may fall apart because a seam wasn't secured after one wear. You get something mass produced. It's not as unique or poorly made (see: Forever 21.) What's interesting is that if you look closely at a clothing line or when you walk into a store, you can tell if the store is pushing a product or a lifestyle. Is this store trying to sell me something? Or is this store trying to sell me a lifestyle, an identity, a sense of community--- a story.

Left to right: Speckled jersey sweatpants by 3.1 Phillip Lim, $350; Salt & pepper sweatpants by American Apparel, $38; Shetland Varsity Letterman Jacket by Thom Browne, $1,298; Brown Varsity Jacket by Abel, $110.

$350 is a bit much for sweatpants. I totally agree, but do I want these? Absolutely.

Are they necessary? No way. But here is where the bridge splits and you can decide...

Left to right: Fairisle crewneck by CPO, $60; Fairisle shawl collar cardigan by Burkman Bros, $250; Gameday chinos by Bonobos, $88; Hayden pant by Theory, $195.

Certain designers cut their pieces in particular fits. Huge Boss suiting runs slim, so does Ben Sherman, A.P.C., D&G, Prada, etc. If you need a suit and you're built like a toothpick, you'll probably have to fork out the extra dough to get a suit that fits you well... off the rack, if you don't have time for a tailor. Same goes for chinos, sweatshirts and Lord, don't get me started on dress shirts.

Hear me out, there is nothing inherently wrong with designer brands, off-brands or mass-produced pieces, although some would argue in relation to relativism, ethnocentricism and ethics. Save it for a family meal.

Ultimately, you're the consumer and you have the choice.

midweSTYLE: Bridge II

Jeff's post a few weeks ago got me thinking about my own fall uniform. The ensemble that automatically pops into my mind when I get out of bed in the morning. This is what I came up with. It's not necessarily limited to these exact pieces, but they do represent the basic formula. It goes something like this: plaid shirt, shawl-collar cardigan, and a lightweight jacket on top of denim and boots. The variations are endless. Nonetheless, this is perhaps my favorite.

If I could, I would be completely content with only wearing Gitman shirting, for the rest of my life. The fit and details are spot on (their mediums are ideal), and every season seems to improve upon the last. There's a consistently wide array of fabrics and patterns - chambrays, oxfords, tartans. There's something strangely familiar about a Gitman Vintage shirt, like you're ninety-five percent sure you saw your dad wearing the same thing back in '74, but you can't be sure.

This service blazer by Apolis has been my go-to top layer for fall. I was turned on to Apolis a few summers back when they teamed up with Katin to produce some chambray board shorts. From there, my interest in the brand and their philosophy has only increased. If you've got the time, take a moment to read up on their story and check out their new fall arrivals, which happens to include some beautiful Italian-crafted suiting. Truly a brand worth supporting and investing in.

These boots were a gift from my dear friend Travis Craig. And get this, he gave these to me on his birthday. If he ever finds a pair of shoes or boots a size or so too big while thrifting, he grabs them anyway and then tells me hes got something I need to try on. Talk about generosity. It's thoughtful people like him that I aspire to be like and hope to be lucky enough to surround myself with. Thanks again, Trav. You're the man.

A NOTE ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPHER: When she's not petting stray cats, tweeting in all caps, or rocking a quasi-middle part, Mallory Wiegers is busy working on her undergraduate degree in graphic design at the University of Kansas. She's a longtime friend and compadre. She's also a huge asset to the blog. That header up there - her doing. We're lucky enough to have her input and expertise at our disposal when it comes to all things design. She's currently working on some more projects for the Midwestyle, and considering her 21st was just a few short days ago, I'm sure she'll be reimbursed with pink champagne. Or kittens. Be sure to check her online portfolio and give her a follow on the Twitter machine.

On Cameron: chambray service blazer by Apolis; green plaid button down by Gitman Vintage; grey shawl collar cardigan by J. Crew, slim-straight selvedge denim by Wings + Horns; watch by Timex for J. Crew; vintage tracker boots; vintage belt.

Photography by Mallory Wiegers.

THRIFTY THURSDAY: Duck hunt

I love novelty sweaters.
And by novelty, I mean obnoxious.

This "Duck Hunt" sweater triggers memories. Memories of my brother and I sitting in front of our large, practically furniture-sized television in our basement, non-stop clicking the Nintendo gun for pegging ducks off the screen. We spent hours mastering this game, totally cheating when the other got suckered into to running upstairs to grab the pizza rolls that Mom so kindly prepared for us.

I snagged this sweater at Arizona Trading Company in Kansas City when I flew back to see my baby niece. (Yeah, this guy is an Uncle! Congrats, Brother and Sister-In-Law.) Per usual, I did the rounds in Kansas City in hopes of scoring glorious plunder. I'd call this sweater alone a win in itself. If you wanna shell out the big bucks, Mr. Porter and Need Supply have a few options for the animal at heart.

On Jeff: Thrifted "Duck Hunt" sweater ($6) by Montgomery Ward from Arizona Trading Company; thrifted denim shirt ($1) from Salvation Army; thrifted bomber jacket with faux shearling trim ($12) from Salvation Army; grey slim-fit "Davis" chinos ($70) by Club Monaco.

Photography by Jarred Donalson

midweSTYLE: Campus

7:57 A.M.

It's midterm season. You hit the quad, half walking, half running, panicking because your bike got a pinch flat back on University Avenue and you had to lock it up and ditch it by Mumford Hall, but your class is over off 6th St.

You had five minutes then. Now you're down to three.

You didn't sleep last night; you didn't have that luxury. Eating, that wasn't exactly on the agenda either. You're breathing though, running over a general timeline of early medieval history again in your head. Professor said exact dates weren't necessary, so you subconsciously purged those. Diocletian. Constantine. The Council of Nicaea. You know this is all living in your short-term memory, trying to bleed back out.

You need to get this down on paper. Now.

You bust through the auditorium doors. Heads turn, people stare. Whatever. You're past embarrassment. You sit, loudly. That TA, the one who always wears the sweat-stained Cardinals hat and a smug, condescending frown, he hands you the exam. Your eyes close. Open. You check the essay questions first. You always check the essay questions first. Pressure releases, you've got those on lock. Multiple choice takes care of itself. You write, and write, and write, shaking slightly from the triple espresso you put down a few hours ago. But it's not long before it's all over. You turn in the exam, with an unexpected confidence in your performance. You leave content. You're walking back across the quad, tired, but more than elated that that midterm is over. Maybe just more excited that you have an opportunity to relax.

And it's then that you stop and look around. You take it in. The leaves. The colors. You'd been ignoring them for the past few days—too busy. But your studying is over now. You hear the soft rustle of leaves being trampled underfoot. You inhale the crisp air. It feels good. And your once overwhelmed and over distracted mind can ignore it no longer.

Fall is here.

Fall, for me, is primarily about two things: layers and fabrics. Flannels, wools, thick-knits. Jackets over sweaters over shirts, with scarves on top. Hats too, sometimes. Put on boots, any boots. And don't forget tweed. Fall is your time to experiment. It's your chance to find who you are, sartorially. Throw on some sportcoats. Or don't, it's your call. But really, above all, have fun. Clothes can be fun. They should be fun.

Wear a watch. You should know what time it is without fishing your iPhone out of your pocket. Plus, watch straps are the new way to display your personality (sarcasm). But in all seriousness, start collecting. Or just buy this.

Fall is also a great time to break in a fresh pair of raw denim. Or, if your selvedge collection is already three or so deep, get on that duck canvas jam. You'll be glad you did.

On Cameron: thrifted herringbone blazer by Hill and Archer, thrifted heather grey sweater by Ireland Group; Kurabo denim in the 77 fit by Baldwin Denim; thrifted blue oxford by Gant, beeswax desert boots by Clarks; military watch by Timex.

Photography by Mallory Wiegers.

THE REPERTOIRE: Rules for a Dinner Party

The third in a series on the interplay of food and style, with Blake Royer, of the exceptional culinary website The Paupered Chef. We've already dispatched with breakfast in bed and a working lunch. Next up: the dinner party.

To say you’re an accomplished character is putting it lightly. That time you sumitted Kilimanjaro during a snow storm. The month you took a vow of silence. The day all the stoplights turned green.

You’ve been places, you’ve seen things, and you’ve got most situations in the bag. But the thought of hosting a dinner party? Crippling. Like trying to throw a punch under water. We're not poking fun, here; there are Nobel Prize winners who would buckle at the thought of preparing a meal for friends and having to sit there and face them while they eat it.

Maybe it's time to learn. Or at least, have a recipe in the arsenal that’s not chili.

We present: An improvised guide to hosting.

The guests will be as calm as you are. There’s no easier way to deflate a party by being nervous, which of course makes it even harder to be relaxed. You set the tone, and if you’re unflappable, so your guests will be. Speaking of which...

On drinking: With moderation and good timing, a drink or two can take the edge off. Sip while you cook, to give yourself a head start, but then cut it off. You want the right level of alcohol to relax, but not so much that you become incompetent (or, god forbid, incontinent). When guests arrive, everything will be jolly. Give them something immediately to put in their hands to soften your lead. Then, before you get sloppy and turn into a lousy conversationalist, pull back the reins. Put another way: Drink early, but not often.

Also, wear a tie.

Roast something. Inviting people to eat requires skill, timing, and artfulness. Roasting takes tremendous pressure off one of those things; with a thermometer and a few basic tips, the timing of the meal becomes far more forgiving.

On toasting: Let's bring it back. Toasts are a delicate alchemy. They require a strange combination of humor, sincerity and unspoken permission from your audience. They’re hard. Which is why people respect a good one. You have to make them laugh, steer a wide berth around cliches, and remain earnest. The formula: begin with something polite, transition to something clever, and end with something true. Best bet is one you’ve spent enough time preparing that it seems effortless. But really, all that's required is a simple and genuine thanks for showing up.

Embrace the performance. Dinner parties are funny things. People are watching themselves and watching each other, and that’s okay. People are watching themselves and watching each other, and that’s okay. The cast of a dinner party will always be new (if it’s just close friends over for a meal, it’s not a dinner party), so the dynamic is unfamiliar. A little mystery is a good thing.

Never mention your own cooking. Whether you’re fishing for compliments or lamely apologizing for the “dry meat” you’re lowering the tone. Take Julia Child’s advice: “You should never apologize at the table. People will think, ‘Yes, it’s really not so good.’” If the food is great, it speaks for itself. If it sucks, don’t mention it. They won’t remember.

Greetings and farewells. Much like giving a good compliment, hellos and goodbyes are best when simple and heartfelt. You’re excited they’re here, you’re so pleased they enjoyed themselves, and you hope to see them soon.

And if you’re the guest, bring a gift. Hosting a dinner party is a sacrifice of time, money and energy, so offer something that shows you appreciate the effort. Booze always fits the bill. Though if you’d like to take it to the next level, bring something that reminds you of the host. It shows you’ve paid attention. Bonus points for a handwritten note the next day.

And now, about that roast...

In Italy, porchetta is made by stuffing a whole pig with garlic, fennel, wild herbs, and heavy amounts of salt and pepper; it's then rolled up and spit-roasted slowly over wood. Thankfully, it's almost as delicious on a smaller scale. Serve the pork shoulder with creamy polenta, also something than can be made in advance. A standard for the repertoire. File under: You Can’t Go Wrong With Rustic Italian.

PORCHETTA

Adapted from The Zuni Cafe Cookbook by Judy Rogers*

For the pork:

• 1 3-pound boneless pork shoulder roast
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1 tablespoon capers, roughly chopped
• 1 tablespoon lemon zest (no white pith), from 3-4 lemons
• 3 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
• 12 fresh sage leaves, crushed and coarsely chopped
• 2 sprigs fresh rosemary, leaves stripped and chopped
• 2 teaspoon fennel seeds, crushed
• 2 teaspoons black pepper
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 bulbs fennel
• 1/4 cup dry vermouth

For the polenta:

• 5 cups water
• 1 cup polenta or cornmeal
• 1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

*Possibly one of the best cookbooks in the world to learn from. Highest recommendation.

Lay the pork out on a cutting board and examine the natural seams in the meat. Using your fingers and the tip of a knife as needed, excavate the seams to expose as much internal surface area of the pork as possible, carefully freeing the muscles along their natural separations. Season the pork inside and out with salt.

In a small bowl, mix together the capers, lemon zest, garlic, sage, rosemary, fennel seeds, and black pepper. Pack the herb mixture into the crevices of the pork, rubbing it into the meat and ensuring the seasoning reaches all the exposed surfaces. Using kitchen string (or if your roast came with a net, use it) to tie the roast back into its original shape. It should take 4-5 strings crosswise and one lengthwise to accomplish this (for detailed tying instructions, see this post on making lamb pancetta). An even shape will also cook evenly.

Cover, refrigerate, and allow the seasoning to penetrate the meat, at least 1 day and up to 3.

When it's time to cook:

Heat an oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. In a large (14-inch) ovenproof skillet or roasting pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat until shimmering. Add the pork (it should sizzle) and transfer to the oven. Roast, uncovered, for an hour (the pork should begin to color; if it hasn't, up the temperature to 400.)

While the pork roasts, bring the water to boil in a large saucepan, then pour in the polenta in a slow stream while whisking to prevent clumping. Once it's all added, add the salt and reduce heat to low, stirring often as it thickens and the cornmeal becomes creamy, 25-30 minutes. If it appears too dry and the cornmeal is not yet soft, add more water and continue cooking; you can always cook it longer to evaporate any excess water. Once soft, turn off the heat until ready to serve. To finish, reheat and stir in butter and Parmesan.

Meanwhile, halve the fennel lengthwise and cut out the core. Put the halves cut-side down and slice thinly crosswise. Toss with enough olive oil and salt to coat it nicely.

Once the pork has been in an hour, use tongs to flip it over and tuck the sliced fennel into the roasting pan around the porchetta, tossing it well in the roasting juices. Return the roast to the oven and continue cooking for another 1 to 1 1/2 hours, to an internal temperature of 145º F.

Remove the pork to a cutting board and keep it loosely covered in foil while it rests for at least 10 minutes (the meat will reabsorb the juices, ensuring it's as moist as possible). Put the roasting pan on the stovetop (with the fennel still in it), pour or spoon off any excess fat, and turn the heat to high. Add the vermouth to the pan, using the liquid to scrape up any caramelized bits left from the pork in the roasting pan. Cook, stirring often, until the fennel is soft and caramelized and the vermouth has mostly evaporated.

Slice the pork and serve with the polenta, along with some of the caramelized fennel and rich pan juices. Finish with some of the fennel fronds that (ideally) came attached to the fennel bulb. Serve.

Prep photos by Seth Putnam. Dinner photos by Ryan Plett.